2018-07-06 / Chaplain's News

Ready and resilient marriages

Chaplain (Capt.) Loren “Greg” Sink
442d Signal Battalion

Healthy, resilient marriages are incredibly important to Soldier and family readiness. Having just celebrated our 33rd wedding anniversary this past June, one of the most popular months for weddings, I’ve been blessed with yet another annual milestone to celebrate the significance, challenge and fulfillment of being married to the same person as we continue to work toward fulfilling that part of the traditional wedding vows that says, “to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.” Don’t get me wrong, it has not been easy by any stretch of the imagination! In fact, it’s been the most challenging thing that my wife, Tammy, and I have ever sought to accomplish; just ask her.

Whenever doing any marriage or relationship enhancement training or counseling, I always tell folks right up front that staying married is one of the toughest if not the most challenging thing they will ever seek to accomplish in their life! And that’s not the end of the story! I also quickly follow up by adding that is not at all an indictment against marriage; not at all! In fact, to me, it’s an affirmation of just how significant the marriage relationship can (and should be) as a significant part of living a fulfilling life. Just think, of all aspects of life, invariably, the most potentially fulfilling and rewarding things we will ever have or accomplish in life are also the very same things that will call for the most from us as well as potentially cost us the most; and I don’t at all simply mean in terms of finances but in terms of heart equity such as energy, time, tears, stress, etc.

Additionally, I also quickly add that as a result, it is generally so worth “paying the price,” investing the “heart equity” and working through all of the various challenges and stages of life that we can face the longer we are together especially when some are potentially married for decades and even fifty plus years. For almost all, they will spend many more years married than the years they lived as single persons.

Along these lines, there are many thought-provoking quotes about marriage worth considering. Martin Luther is quoted as saying, “There is no more lovely, friendly and charming relationship, communion or company than a good marriage.” Barbara DeAngelis wrote, “Marriage is not a noun; it’s a verb. It isn’t something you get. It’s something you do. It’s the way you love your partner every day.” Friedrich Nietzsche said, “It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.” And, lastly, Mignon McLaughlin wrote, “A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.”

Blessings to all of you married folks in our Fort Gordon community as you continue seeking to build and maintain ready and resilient marriages.

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